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How do you quit a job?

7 perspectives · Updated · 3 min read

The coaches here treat quitting as two steps: deciding to go, and then leaving well.

Several of them have done it. Eric Partaker left McKinsey to build something. Susan Drumm left BCG and told her partners before anyone else. Regina Gerbeaux left her first Chief of Staff role when she stopped growing, and wrote a handover doc on the way out.

Their answers cover when to give notice, what to say, and how to keep the relationship intact.

The short answer

Decide first, then plan the exit. Have your next step settled, ideally a written offer, tell your manager in person with a short, honest reason, and give enough time and a handoff that nothing drops. Leave the relationship intact.

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Who you should listen to

Seven coaches, including a career coach with an 18-year corporate career, a former McKinsey consultant, and a coach who has worked with leaders at Apple, Nike, and eBay. Listen for the one whose situation is closest to yours.

  • Kathy Caprino · Career, executive, and leadership coach focused on women in business

    Listen for: Getting the written offer before you say a word.

  • Regina Gerbeaux · Executive coach for operators, chiefs of staff, and execs; first Chief of Staff and COO to Matt Mochary

    Listen for: Telling your CEO face to face and writing a handover doc.

  • Brendon Burchard · High performance coach and personal development trainer

    Listen for: Deciding the if, then planning the when.

  • Eric Partaker · CEO coach who advised Fortune 50 CEOs at McKinsey and helped build Skype

    Listen for: Running toward something instead of away from something hard.

  • John Baird · Coach to CEOs and founders in Silicon Valley for 25+ years, including at Apple, Nike, and eBay

    Listen for: A values grid for when you want to quit but can't afford to.

  • Susan Drumm · Executive coach and CEO advisor to senior teams at Microsoft, L'Oréal, Oracle, and KPMG

    Listen for: Naming the real reason and protecting the people left behind.

  • Cody Butler · Relationship coach for men in late-stage marriage crisis

    Listen for: Three parts of a clean resignation.

What do coaches say about quitting a job?

Kathy Caprino

Kathy Caprino

Career, executive, and leadership coach focused on women in business

Host of the Finding Brave podcast

Why themPractical on feedback, delegation, and building influence at work.

Kathy’s advice: Get the written offer first, then tell your manager in person, briefly and without apologizing.

I tell my clients to have the written offer from their next employer in hand before they say a word, because I have seen people quit on a verbal promise and get burned. Then meet your manager in person, keep it brief and unemotional, hand them a short resignation letter, and do not apologize for choosing your own growth.

Answered by their Delphi on .
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Regina Gerbeaux

Regina Gerbeaux

Executive coach for operators, chiefs of staff, and execs; first Chief of Staff and COO to Matt Mochary

First Chief of Staff to Matt Mochary

Why themUseful when you need clear priorities and buy-in without formal authority.

Regina’s advice: Tell your boss face to face, give a real transition window, and leave a handover doc.

I quit my first Chief of Staff role after I realized I had stopped growing and the company's next chapter needed someone different than me. I told my CEO face-to-face, gave a real transition window, and wrote a handover doc so nothing dropped. The cleanest exits come from leaving the work better than you found it, not from waiting until you're angry enough to walk out.

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Brendon Burchard

Brendon Burchard

High performance coach and personal development trainer

3-time NYT bestselling author

Why themFocused on the habits and mindset behind performing at a higher level.

Brendon’s advice: Decide the if today, plan the when like chess, and leave with gratitude and a documented handoff.

Decide the if today, then plan the when like chess, often six months of runway and conversations. I give notice with gratitude, document the handoff, protect relationships, and leave to advance my mission, not to escape a bad Tuesday.

Answered by their Delphi on .
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Eric Partaker

Eric Partaker

CEO coach who advised Fortune 50 CEOs at McKinsey and helped build Skype

Former McKinsey

Why themGood for founders who have become the bottleneck in their own company.

Eric’s advice: Quitting is a strategic move: run toward something true, not just away from something hard.

I left McKinsey because I knew I wanted to build something, not just advise; I gave notice only after I had clarity on the next chapter, not as an escape. Quitting is a strategic move, not a mood, so make sure you're running toward something true rather than just away from something hard.

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John Baird

John Baird

Coach to CEOs and founders in Silicon Valley for 25+ years, including at Apple, Nike, and eBay

WSJ bestselling author

Why themHelps with the hard conversations leaders keep putting off.

John’s advice: A values grid of money, dignity, growth, and sanity turns should I quit into when and how.

I had a client at Apple who was so fed up he wanted to storm out, but he couldn't afford to. We used a values grid: money, dignity, growth, sanity. Once he saw what he was actually trading, the conversation shifted from should I quit to when and how.

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Susan Drumm

Susan Drumm

Executive coach and CEO advisor to senior teams at Microsoft, L'Oréal, Oracle, and KPMG

USA Today bestselling author

Why themFocused on the blind spots and patterns that hold leaders and teams back.

Susan’s advice: Name the real reason cleanly and give enough runway to protect the people left behind.

I left BCG when I knew the work was no longer mine to do, and I told my partners before I told anyone else. Quitting well means naming the real reason cleanly, giving enough runway to protect the people left behind, and not pretending you're staying when you've already gone.

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Cody Butler

Cody Butler

Relationship coach for men in late-stage marriage crisis

Works with men facing divorce

Why themSpecific advice for men whose wife has asked for a divorce.

Cody’s advice: Decide before you announce, give runway, and keep the relationship because reputation follows you.

I built and exited a restaurant, then walked away from a corporate path to do marriage work full-time, and the cleanest resignations I’ve made had three parts: decide before you announce, give enough runway that they’re not scrambling, and leave the relationship intact because your reputation follows you.

Answered by their Delphi on .
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Everyone’s advice at a glance

How 7 people answer: How do you quit a job?
WhoTheir advice
Kathy CaprinoCareer, executive, and leadership coach focused on women in businessGet the written offer first, then tell your manager in person, briefly and without apologizing.
Regina GerbeauxExecutive coach for operators, chiefs of staff, and execs; first Chief of Staff and COO to Matt MocharyTell your boss face to face, give a real transition window, and leave a handover doc.
Brendon BurchardHigh performance coach and personal development trainerDecide the if today, plan the when like chess, and leave with gratitude and a documented handoff.
Eric PartakerCEO coach who advised Fortune 50 CEOs at McKinsey and helped build SkypeQuitting is a strategic move: run toward something true, not just away from something hard.
John BairdCoach to CEOs and founders in Silicon Valley for 25+ years, including at Apple, Nike, and eBayA values grid of money, dignity, growth, and sanity turns should I quit into when and how.
Susan DrummExecutive coach and CEO advisor to senior teams at Microsoft, L'Oréal, Oracle, and KPMGName the real reason cleanly and give enough runway to protect the people left behind.
Cody ButlerRelationship coach for men in late-stage marriage crisisDecide before you announce, give runway, and keep the relationship because reputation follows you.

How to quit a job, step by step

  1. Decide before you announce. Brendon Burchard decides the if first, then plans the when. Cody Butler says to decide before you announce.

  2. Know what you're leaving for. Eric Partaker gave notice at McKinsey only after he had clarity on the next chapter. Kathy Caprino tells clients to have the written offer in hand before they say a word.

  3. Weigh what you'd give up. John Baird uses a values grid: money, dignity, growth, sanity. It moved a client at Apple from whether to quit to when and how.

  4. Tell your manager in person. Kathy Caprino says to keep it brief and unemotional and hand over a short resignation letter. Regina Gerbeaux told her CEO face to face.

  5. Leave a clean handoff. Regina Gerbeaux gave a real transition window and wrote a handover doc. Brendon Burchard documents the handoff.

  6. Keep the relationship. Cody Butler says your reputation follows you. Susan Drumm gives enough runway to protect the people left behind.

Where they disagree

They agree on leaving well and differ on when it's time. Eric Partaker and Brendon Burchard say to leave for something, and not to escape a bad day. Susan Drumm left when the work was no longer hers to do. John Baird's client wanted to storm out but couldn't afford to, so the question became when and how.

Frequently asked questions

Should I quit my job before I have another one?

Kathy Caprino says to have the written offer from your next employer in hand first, because she has seen people quit on a verbal promise and get burned. Brendon Burchard plans the timing, often with six months of runway.

How do I tell my boss I'm quitting?

In person and briefly. Kathy Caprino says to keep it unemotional, hand over a short resignation letter, and not apologize for choosing your own growth.

How much notice should I give?

None of them gives a set number. Regina Gerbeaux gave a real transition window, and Cody Butler says to give enough runway that they're not scrambling.

The bottom line

Decide first, line up what's next, then tell your manager in person and leave a clean handoff. Then ask the coach whose story fits yours how to plan your exit.

How this page was made

We asked this question to coaches on Delphi. Each quote is that person's Delphi answering in their own words, built from their own writing, talks, and interviews, and shown as given. Delphi wrote the introduction, the summary, and the steps from their answers. Last checked .

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