How do you decline a job offer?

7 perspectives · Updated 16 Oct 2026 · 3 min read

Most of the coaches here start with the same advice: say no quickly. Regina Gerbeaux says the longer you wait, the more they invest, and the more painful it gets for everyone.

After that, it's about tone. John Baird calls instead of emailing. Kathy Caprino sends a prompt note that names what impressed her. Eric Nehrlich keeps it short and doesn't over-explain.

Their answers cover what to say, whether to call or write, and how to keep the door open.

The short answer

Decline quickly and kindly. Thank them, say clearly that you're not taking it, give one honest reason without over-explaining, and leave the relationship in good shape. Several of them call rather than email.

How do you decline a job offer?

How do you get over a breakup?

How do you decline a job offer?

How do you get over a breakup?

Can declining a job offer hurt my career?

How do you quit a job?

Can declining a job offer hurt my career?

How do you quit a job?

How do you stop overthinking everything?How do you get over a breakup?How do you stop overthinking everything?How do you get over a breakup?

How do you decline a job offer?How do you quit a job?

How do you stop overthinking everything?

How do you decline a job offer?How do you quit a job?

How do you stop overthinking everything?

Can declining a job offer hurt my career?How do you quit a job?

How do you get over a breakup?

Can declining a job offer hurt my career?How do you quit a job?

How do you get over a breakup?

Ask them yourself

Sign up free for unlimited conversations with them.

Do I need to give a reason for declining a job offer?

How do you quit a job?

Do I need to give a reason for declining a job offer?

How do you quit a job?

How do you get over a breakup?How do you stop overthinking everything?

How do you get over a breakup?How do you stop overthinking everything?

Should I decline a job offer by phone or email?How do you quit a job?Should I decline a job offer by phone or email?How do you quit a job?

How do you stop overthinking everything?How do you quit a job?

How do you get over a breakup?

How do you stop overthinking everything?How do you quit a job?

How do you get over a breakup?

Do I need to give a reason for declining a job offer?How do you stop overthinking everything?

Do I need to give a reason for declining a job offer?How do you stop overthinking everything?

Who you should listen to

Seven coaches, including John Baird, who has coached CEOs and founders in Silicon Valley for more than 25 years, and Eric Partaker, who advised Fortune 50 CEOs at McKinsey. Listen for the version that fits how well you know the person on the other side.

John Baird · Coach to CEOs and founders in Silicon Valley for 25+ years, including at Apple, Nike, and eBay
Listen for: Why to call instead of email, and when to stop talking.
Kathy Caprino · Career, executive, and leadership coach focused on women in business
Listen for: A prompt, human note with one true reason.
Eric Partaker · CEO coach who advised Fortune 50 CEOs at McKinsey and helped build Skype
Listen for: Turning down a role and still getting investor introductions later.
Brendon Burchard · High performance coach and personal development trainer
Listen for: A call, then an email to confirm.
Regina Gerbeaux · Executive coach for operators, chiefs of staff, and execs; first Chief of Staff and COO to Matt Mochary
Listen for: Why speed is the kind choice.
Matthew Hussey · Love life coach, host of the Love Life podcast, and author of the book of the same name
Listen for: The simple script he uses to decline speaking gigs.
Eric Nehrlich · Executive coach to tech leaders; former Chief of Staff for Google Search Ads
Listen for: Keeping it short without over-explaining.

How do coaches turn down a job offer?

John Baird

Coach to CEOs and founders in Silicon Valley for 25+ years, including at Apple, Nike, and eBay

WSJ bestselling author

Why themHelps with the hard conversations leaders keep putting off.

John’s advice: Call, don't email: thank them, say it's not the right fit specifically enough to be real, then stop.

Call the person, don't email. Tell them straight: you appreciated the time and the offer, and you've decided it's not the right fit. Be specific enough that it lands as real, not a brush-off. Then thank them and stop.

Answered by their Delphi on 16 Oct 2026.

Go deeper with John

Kathy Caprino

Career, executive, and leadership coach focused on women in business

Host of the Finding Brave podcast

Why themPractical on feedback, delegation, and building influence at work.

Kathy’s advice: A prompt, human note that thanks them, names what impressed you, and gives one true reason.

I decline with speed, warmth, and one true reason. A prompt, human note that thanks them, names what impressed me, and explains briefly why the fit isn't right protects the relationship and your reputation. In my 18-year corporate career, I learned that how you leave a door matters as much as which door you choose.

Answered by their Delphi on 16 Oct 2026.

Go deeper with Kathy

Eric Partaker

CEO coach who advised Fortune 50 CEOs at McKinsey and helped build Skype

Former McKinsey

Why themGood for founders who have become the bottleneck in their own company.

Eric’s advice: He called the founder, said exactly where the offer fell short, and the relationship paid off later.

I once had to walk away from a role that looked perfect on paper because the equity didn't match the risk. I called the founder directly, thanked him for the time he'd invested, and told him exactly where the offer fell short for me. He couldn't bridge it, but we stayed in touch and he later sent two investors my way.

Answered by their Delphi on 16 Oct 2026.

Go deeper with Eric

Brendon Burchard

High performance coach and personal development trainer

3-time NYT bestselling author

Why themFocused on the habits and mindset behind performing at a higher level.

Brendon’s advice: Call, say plainly it isn't aligned with your priorities, then confirm in a short email.

I pick up the phone, thank them, and say plainly the role is not aligned with my priorities and timeline, then I send a crisp email to confirm and keep the bridge warm. Be prompt, kind, and final.

Answered by their Delphi on 16 Oct 2026.

Go deeper with Brendon

Regina Gerbeaux

Executive coach for operators, chiefs of staff, and execs; first Chief of Staff and COO to Matt Mochary

First Chief of Staff to Matt Mochary

Why themUseful when you need clear priorities and buy-in without formal authority.

Regina’s advice: Decline fast, warmly, and with one true reason, because waiting makes it harder for everyone.

I decline fast, warmly, and with one true reason. The longer you wait, the more they invest, and the more painful it gets for everyone.

Answered by their Delphi on 16 Oct 2026.

Go deeper with Regina

Matthew Hussey

Love life coach, host of the Love Life podcast, and author of the book of the same name

15 years teaching about love

Why themPractical on everything from a confusing text to whether to stay in a relationship.

Matthew’s advice: Thank them, a clear no, one honest reason tied to your focus, and a warm close.

I keep it simple: thank them, a clear no, one honest reason tied to my focus, and a warm close. I’ve declined speaking gigs by saying I’m honored, my focus is elsewhere this year, so I’ll pass and wish them well.

Answered by their Delphi on 16 Oct 2026.

Go deeper with Matthew

Eric Nehrlich

Executive coach to tech leaders; former Chief of Staff for Google Search Ads

Author of You Have A Choice

Why themGood for leaders who are burning out while more work keeps coming.

Eric’s advice: A quick no beats a lingering maybe; thank them and keep it short.

I’d be direct and prompt: a quick no is better than a lingering maybe, and the people on the other side have work to do. I’d thank them, say clearly that I’m declining, and keep it short without over-explaining.

Answered by their Delphi on 16 Oct 2026.

Go deeper with Eric

Everyone’s advice at a glance

How 7 people answer: How do you decline a job offer?
Who	Their advice
John BairdCoach to CEOs and founders in Silicon Valley for 25+ years, including at Apple, Nike, and eBay	Call, don't email: thank them, say it's not the right fit specifically enough to be real, then stop.
Kathy CaprinoCareer, executive, and leadership coach focused on women in business	A prompt, human note that thanks them, names what impressed you, and gives one true reason.
Eric PartakerCEO coach who advised Fortune 50 CEOs at McKinsey and helped build Skype	He called the founder, said exactly where the offer fell short, and the relationship paid off later.
Brendon BurchardHigh performance coach and personal development trainer	Call, say plainly it isn't aligned with your priorities, then confirm in a short email.
Regina GerbeauxExecutive coach for operators, chiefs of staff, and execs; first Chief of Staff and COO to Matt Mochary	Decline fast, warmly, and with one true reason, because waiting makes it harder for everyone.
Matthew HusseyLove life coach, host of the Love Life podcast, and author of the book of the same name	Thank them, a clear no, one honest reason tied to your focus, and a warm close.
Eric NehrlichExecutive coach to tech leaders; former Chief of Staff for Google Search Ads	A quick no beats a lingering maybe; thank them and keep it short.

How to decline a job offer, step by step

Respond quickly. Regina Gerbeaux, Kathy Caprino, and Eric Nehrlich all say to answer promptly. Eric Nehrlich says a quick no is better than a lingering maybe.
Call if you can. John Baird says to call, not email. Brendon Burchard calls, then sends a short email to confirm.
Thank them. John Baird, Brendon Burchard, Matthew Hussey, and Eric Nehrlich all start by thanking them for the time and the offer.
Give one honest reason. Kathy Caprino and Regina Gerbeaux give one true reason. Matthew Hussey ties his to where his focus is that year.
Keep the door open. Eric Partaker told a founder exactly where the offer fell short. They stayed in touch, and the founder later sent two investors his way.

Where they disagree

They differ on how much to explain. Eric Partaker told the founder exactly where the offer fell short. Eric Nehrlich keeps it short without over-explaining, and John Baird says to be specific enough that it sounds real, then thank them and stop.

Frequently asked questions

Should I decline a job offer by phone or email?

John Baird and Brendon Burchard both call, and Brendon follows up with a short email to confirm. Kathy Caprino sends a prompt note.

Do I need to give a reason for declining a job offer?

Most of them give one honest reason, such as fit, priorities, or timing. Eric Nehrlich says to keep it short without over-explaining.

Can declining a job offer hurt my career?

Kathy Caprino says how you decline protects the relationship and your reputation. Eric Partaker declined a role, stayed in touch with the founder, and was later introduced to two investors.

The bottom line

Say no quickly, thank them, give one honest reason, and keep the relationship warm. Then ask the coach whose style fits yours how they'd word it.

How this page was made

We asked this question to coaches on Delphi. Each quote is that person's Delphi answering in their own words, built from their own writing, talks, and interviews, and shown as given. Delphi wrote the introduction, the summary, and the steps from their answers. Last checked 16 Oct 2026.

Have a different situation?

Ask people who’ve lived it