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I replay the same conversation in my head for hours after it's over

I replay the same conversation in my head for hours after it's over

Mindfulness
My heart's racing and I can't tell if it's anxiety or something wrong with my heart

My heart's racing and I can't tell if it's anxiety or something wrong with my heart

Health
My kid wants to study computer science. Should I talk them out of it?

My kid wants to study computer science. Should I talk them out of it?

Technology
I have 200 happy customers but almost none of them leave a google review

I have 200 happy customers but almost none of them leave a google review

Marketing
My son stopped talking to me after the divorce and I don't know why

My son stopped talking to me after the divorce and I don't know why

Parenting
My portfolio has ten projects but recruiters still skip past it in ten seconds

My portfolio has ten projects but recruiters still skip past it in ten seconds

Design

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Real Life Situations

Three people from my building went to a birthday dinner last week and I found out from a photo. This is the fourth time this year. I'm starting to think there's something about me people don't want around

Three people from my building went to a birthday dinner last week and I found out from a photo. This is the fourth time this year. I'm starting to think there's something about me people don't want around

I left my job two years ago to care for my father, and now I'm back on the job market with a two-year gap on my resume. Every interview gets to the same question. What do I say when they ask why I stopped working?

I left my job two years ago to care for my father, and now I'm back on the job market with a two-year gap on my resume. Every interview gets to the same question. What do I say when they ask why I stopped working?

I’m speaking at our company offsite tomorrow, and people are expecting another inspiring speech even though last quarter’s promises weren’t kept

I’m speaking at our company offsite tomorrow, and people are expecting another inspiring speech even though last quarter’s promises weren’t kept

My mother-in-law has a key to our house and uses it, usually while we're at work, to 'tidy up.' She rearranges our kitchen, comments on my parenting, and shows up unannounced at least twice a week. My husband says that's just how she is. I don't know if I'm overreacting or if he's just used to it

My mother-in-law has a key to our house and uses it, usually while we're at work, to 'tidy up.' She rearranges our kitchen, comments on my parenting, and shows up unannounced at least twice a week. My husband says that's just how she is. I don't know if I'm overreacting or if he's just used to it

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I freeze up and go blank when I meet new people at networking events.

Top perspectives

Vanessa Van Edwards

Behavioral investigator · Founder of Science of People

CaptivateCuesScience of People

Freezing at a networking event is usually a planning problem, not a personality problem. Your brain just doesn't have a script for the first ten seconds.

Robert Cialdini

Psychology professor, Arizona State · Author of Influence

InfluencePre-SuasionCialdini Institute

Networking freeze usually comes from self-focus, not social failure. Prepare one genuine question and one small piece of value you can offer. That shifts your script from “Will they like me?” to “How can I be useful to this person?”

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Vanessa Van Edwards

Their Delphi, answering in their voice

I freeze up and go blank when I meet new people at networking events.
Freezing is usually a planning problem, not a personality problem. Before the event, write down three openers and three bridge questions, then lower the stakes by practicing on baristas and neighbors first.
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