Ask a coach

“I tell my clients to have the written offer from their next employer in hand before they say a word, because I have seen people quit on a verbal promise and get burned. Then meet your manager in person, keep it brief and unemotional, hand them a short resignation letter, and do not apologize for choosing your own growth.”

“I quit my first Chief of Staff role after I realized I had stopped growing and the company's next chapter needed someone different than me. I told my CEO face-to-face, gave a real transition window, and wrote a handover doc so nothing dropped. The cleanest exits come from leaving the work better than you found it, not from waiting until you're angry enough to walk out.”

“Decide the if today, then plan the when like chess, often six months of runway and conversations. I give notice with gratitude, document the handoff, protect relationships, and leave to advance my mission, not to escape a bad Tuesday.”

“I don't try to outrun it. I feel the waves, stop feeding the fantasy, and keep stacking small, life‑giving actions until my present becomes more compelling than their memory.”

“After my high school sweetheart breakup left me depressed, I chose Phase Two: I stopped replaying the past, poured into friends and passions, and set three small goals every day. Progress and gratitude rebuilt my identity faster than time ever did.”

“I know I’m over a heartbreak when a whole day passes and I haven’t reread the same fight in my head. Until then, I let myself feel it, name it, and ask what part of me I’m mourning, because the sooner I stop pretending I’m fine, the sooner I actually am.”

“I used to spiral hard, especially as a founder: one ambiguous Slack message and I’d be three layers deep into they hate me, the company is over, I’ll die alone. What actually broke the loop was fear journaling, where I write the story down to its absurd core, then check it later.”

“When my brain starts sprinting, I stop trying to think my way to certainty and pick one next honest action that gives me data. Overthinking hates movement, so I breathe, do the small thing, and let reality be quieter than imagination.”

“I used to let a CEO client say I know that until I banned it, because knowing is worthless until it moves. When I feel myself overthinking, I use Mel Robbins' Five Second Rule: the moment the thought to act shows up, I count 5-4-3-2-1 and physically start before my brain talks me out of it.”

“Call the person, don't email. Tell them straight: you appreciated the time and the offer, and you've decided it's not the right fit. Be specific enough that it lands as real, not a brush-off. Then thank them and stop.”

“I decline with speed, warmth, and one true reason. A prompt, human note that thanks them, names what impressed me, and explains briefly why the fit isn't right protects the relationship and your reputation. In my 18-year corporate career, I learned that how you leave a door matters as much as which door you choose.”

“I once had to walk away from a role that looked perfect on paper because the equity didn't match the risk. I called the founder directly, thanked him for the time he'd invested, and told him exactly where the offer fell short for me. He couldn't bridge it, but we stayed in touch and he later sent two investors my way.”