“If breaking up feels like an option right now, I’d take marriage off the table. Dave and I have watched too many couples rush past that hesitation because they’d already been together so long.”
“I wouldn't marry for certainty. After forty years with Christine, I can tell you the love is real but the question underneath is whether you can both do the small, awkward repair work when it gets hard.”
“Love alone won't carry a marriage, and I think most people sign a lifelong contract they have never actually read. I would sit with the doubt and name it out loud before saying yes, because the cost of ignoring it is always higher later.”
“I once told a man who had lived with his girlfriend for nine years that marriage isn't just a certificate; it changes the level of obligation and responsibility you accept for each other. If things aren't right before you marry, that is a strong sign they won't be right after, unless something dramatic changes.”
“Love is the starting point, not the whole answer. Before you commit, do the work to see whether you can build a shared language for conflict, money, family, and intimacy, because those are the places marriages quietly break.”
“I think the real work isn't deciding whether to marry them—it's knowing why you're hesitating.”