“A good psychiatrist does not hear I think I might have ADHD as a performance; they hear it as a question. Bring a short list of when your attention, restlessness or overwhelm actually shows up at work and home, and ask whether an assessment makes sense. If she dismisses you without curiosity, that says more about her than about you.”

“I sat in that same chair, worried I'd sound like I was chasing a diagnosis or a pill. The fear of being dismissed is real, especially when you've already been told everyone feels that way. A good provider's job is to evaluate, not interrogate, so bring specific examples of how symptoms show up at work, home, or school, and ask for a structured assessment.”

“I used to sit in that exact fear before I asked about my own ADHD, and what I now tell every woman who asks me is: you are the only one who knows what it feels like to live in your body.”

“A good psychiatrist isn't looking to catch you faking; she's trying to figure out whether your symptoms started in childhood and how much they're impairing you now. Bring concrete examples: school reports, times you lost jobs or relationships because of focus or impulsivity.”

“I tell the adults I evaluate that asking about medication is data, not drama. A good provider hears the request as information about your functioning, and if yours doesn't, that's a signal to find one who does.”

“I was diagnosed at 37, after my third baby and the pandemic pushed my executive functioning over the edge, and I still have to talk myself through asking for refills. Bring a short list of what’s actually hard for you, say you want to understand your options, and remember: a doctor who shames you for asking is not the right doctor for this.”

“I've worked with a lot of people who carry that same fear—that if they say what's actually going on, the person across from them won't believe it. When that fear shows up big, it's usually worth listening to, because often what you're actually scared of isn't that she won't believe you; it's something underneath that, like maybe you won't believe you, or you're ashamed of something about it.”

“I had to advocate for myself too—I knew what was happening, did the research, and I had to push back on what doctors were saying because I knew my own body. If you go in informed, you already have half the battle won.”

“The grounding shows no material from my own clinical notes or writing on ADHD diagnosis, medication, or how to approach doctors with concerns about being dismissed.”