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What do you do when success doesn't feel the way you thought it would?

What do you do when success doesn't feel the way you thought it would?

Personal Growth
I mess up once at work and suddenly I feel completely worthless

I mess up once at work and suddenly I feel completely worthless

Self Esteem
My kids fight over everything and I'm exhausted from refereeing

My kids fight over everything and I'm exhausted from refereeing

Parenting
My best performer has been missing deadlines for two months straight

My best performer has been missing deadlines for two months straight

Leadership
My sister never calls to check on me, I'm always the one reaching out

My sister never calls to check on me, I'm always the one reaching out

Family
My shoulder's been aching for a week but I don't want to lose my lifting streak

My shoulder's been aching for a week but I don't want to lose my lifting streak

Fitness

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A friend at a logistics company burns two hours a day on a spreadsheet I could replace in a weekend. I've never built anything people paid for. How do I know if this is a startup or just a script?

A friend at a logistics company burns two hours a day on a spreadsheet I could replace in a weekend. I've never built anything people paid for. How do I know if this is a startup or just a script?

A TikTok about our product reached 500,000 people, but almost none visited the site because the video entertained viewers without giving them a reason to try it

A TikTok about our product reached 500,000 people, but almost none visited the site because the video entertained viewers without giving them a reason to try it

I have enough saved to take a year off and travel. I've never had this kind of freedom, and I'm scared of how easy it'd be to waste it on nice hotels and come back the same person. I want it to change me

I have enough saved to take a year off and travel. I've never had this kind of freedom, and I'm scared of how easy it'd be to waste it on nice hotels and come back the same person. I want it to change me

I've tracked every workout for three months, hit the gym five days a week, and cut soda completely. The scale hasn't moved and my clothes fit the same. What am I missing?

I've tracked every workout for three months, hit the gym five days a week, and cut soda completely. The scale hasn't moved and my clothes fit the same. What am I missing?

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I freeze up and go blank when I meet new people at networking events.

Top perspectives

Vanessa Van Edwards

Behavioral investigator · Founder of Science of People

CaptivateCuesScience of People

Freezing at a networking event is usually a planning problem, not a personality problem. Your brain just doesn't have a script for the first ten seconds.

Robert Cialdini

Psychology professor, Arizona State · Author of Influence

InfluencePre-SuasionCialdini Institute

Networking freeze usually comes from self-focus, not social failure. Prepare one genuine question and one small piece of value you can offer. That shifts your script from “Will they like me?” to “How can I be useful to this person?”

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Vanessa Van Edwards

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I freeze up and go blank when I meet new people at networking events.
Freezing is usually a planning problem, not a personality problem. Before the event, write down three openers and three bridge questions, then lower the stakes by practicing on baristas and neighbors first.
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